As we enter this new year, one gift, one game, one Almighty Father, and one idea led us to host a King's Day party for the epiphany. One decadent Iberico pork, one of cousin Colleen’s crazy fun games, one daughter of Christ, and a husband who said yes 18 years ago to one simple question that packed a punch. Liz asked, “when Victoria wants to climb that creative mountain and all you want to do is hang back in the lodge sipping hot cocoa will you go up the mountain?” Steve, lovestruck, emphatically said, “Yes!”
Sometimes, God wants us to say yes...lovestruck and emphatic—and sometimes, yes... out of obedience. God orchestrated an evening to celebrate the gift of joy, friendships, and the collective power of saying yes to feliz día de reyes! And so ensued a Spanish feast.
The guest list was old and new friends. The invite read: This will be a time to share our gifts, collectively. Cash is king. Please bring 10 singles to participate in a friendly game to win a Magi crown, and bestow the winnings to your favorite charity.
Planning (4 days from inspiration to manifestation), prepping, praying... I felt like Martha [doing] as the week progressed, single-focused on Friday evening. Hoping the same star that led the wise men to lead us. I was truly a hot mess when people arrived, hello, duh, I live with a chronic disease—I tend to believe I am faster than I am, vroommm, really? imagine that—so people jumped right in, and many hands made light work. Last night, as I gathered and sat with friends I felt like Mary [being] at the feet of Jesus.
Sometimes, I believe I am too much. I know I ask too much of my husband... that indeed is true, and I am working that out. I do too much, I envision too much, I want too much of this precious life. I see that God is way too much, too much joy, too much light, too much love and I want that, I want that for all of us. Living out of God's abundance and trusting in Him.
Without a doubt, this is who God created me to BE. A woman with a heart for hospitality who seeks beauty in this world and creates space for authentic conversations and community. And a woman living out her vulnerabilities. Yep, not just the foibles of ALS... at the end of the night, I uncovered my oversized sweater was tucked under and leggings and butt were exposed. Oy vey! Literally, I walk around all night in my tights, just like a mullet... business up front, party in the back.
Anywho, anyone who knows Steve, knows this man was created with a servant’s heart, to see people and listen to their stories, and partner with me in this space.
The outcome: our hearts overflowing with His abundance and joy, much laughter, a few crowns, many new friends. Plus, an equine therapy sponsorship for a non-verbal seven-year-old boy with autism, this through The Shalom Story, a ministry created out of a journey of wild obedience by my friend, Jessica. theshalomstory.com
Your turn
The Magi brought Jesus gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Gold was considered a symbol of kings, frankincense, a perfume representing divinity, and myrrh, an anointing and embalming oil that symbolized death.
+ Your Gold: What is the best part of you that you want to share with your neighbors, friends, colleagues, community this year?
+ Your Frankincense: What is the fragrance of Jesus you most want to be, to emulate, this year?
+ Your Myrrh: What do you want to die to, to put to death, this year? Possibly the ugghhh that comes out sideways.
So this year, live out who you are meant to be.
All glory to God... this is why I do too much.
I humbly and graciously share my friend Elizabeth’s Facebook post from late last evening. She is the founder of The Unmarried Wife, a ministry building a safe house here in Chattanooga. The Evermore House, weeks away from opening, has had one nightmare money pit story after another, the HVAC went out and water pipes burst in the freeze setting her back months. theunmarriedwife.org/evermore-house/
I am so deeply exhausted, I have a long day ahead of me tomorrow, but I know that I can’t sleep until I acknowledge God’s great love for me.
On what has been one of the lowest days that I’ve had in Ministry yet, I felt something change in the spirit today. A darkness fell over my heart that I had previously evaded and now, a deep-welled spirit of sadness roars from the ashes of death that seem to lay helplessly at my feet.
True and earnest depression began to set in, as I heard a heavenly voice descend from the cosmos to my ear: “Your word for the year is Joy.”
Immediately, DREAD filled my being. I was not searching for any declarations over my year and when that one came uninvited, the old adage, “don’t ever pray for patience, because God will send you trials to make you patient,” seized my spirit…
“I don’t want joy if You are going to prosper it through sorrow,” I said with a broken and depleted heart.
Honest but ugly… my heart in that one moment and my heart even still is ASSURED that it would not survive another year of loss and lack like the one previous. I looked at the offer of Joy set before me and said I wouldn’t accept it if it was prefaced by mourning.
I spoke in selfishness, in hurt, and in survival, and still, the Lord heard me.
“I am going to give you an abundance of joy unrequited,” He answered, “unlike that of which you’ve ever seen. No strings attached, no lessons to be learned, just a gift of My heart, from My heart to yours.”
Tentatively, worriedly, unbelievingly, I went on with my day.
The narrative that God is always trying to “fix us” and “change us” and that His motivation in giving to us is to ultimately accomplish those two things is not a theology that I personally subscribe to. I believe that God’s greatest priority is to LOVE us, and it’s through accepting that love that we are moved to change.
No manipulation, no forcing of hands, and no disappointment— only kindness, compassion, and the understanding heart of a Father who is truly dedicated to loving us— Jesus is so CONFIDENT in His love that He knows it will change us and He doesn’t have to do any more than just that.
Despite being settled in this, I found myself questioning the validity of that belief the moment this gift was presented.
Over the past year, the presence of joy has never seemed to be mutually exclusive from the presence of heartbreak. So when I heard that I would be receiving the gift of joy, all I could see was the outstanding and overbearing juxtaposition of suffering that needed to be experienced first in order for me to ever even TOUCH the joy of the Lord.
But today in promise and tonight in life, I saw the purest of joys lived out with truly no strings attached.
My sweet friends, the Carlson’s hosted a beautiful dinner party tonight, with an array of guests from philanthropists to non-profit owners peppering the mix.
They invited me to join in but because of the great swell of depression that claimed my heart today, I was hesitant to join for fear of it being expanded in the name of a lesson.
But what I was met with instead was true, unwavering fulfillment: a joy so righteous and unconditional that it surpassed any darkness within.
The food was decadent, the company was excellent, and the time was well spent.
A long-time culinary wishlist item was checked off in the indulgence of Iberico pork. My story and my commitments to this ministry were shared with interested and receiving ears who seemed to see me and know me in a way I hadn’t been seen or known in a long time. Laughter erupted from my stomach until I was breathless over and over again throughout the night.
Carefree and self-assured, tonight was the best night that I have had in a long while…
I laughed, deeply and truly, for the first time in a very very long time.
That is all I have the energy to share right now— just that the manifestation of joy incarnate came tonight, with no strings attached, just to prove the love of the Lord for me. I choose to believe that this is just the start.
I still need prayer, I still need support, and arguably, I need them both more than ever. But tonight my heart found rest in the fruition of a life-saving promise: joy untethered from sorrow.
--
Wishing you the happiest new year and much joy, Victoria