If ever there were a time to know who your person is… (a nod to one of my favs: Grey’s Anatomy) it is now. We all need that person in our lives. We need one another... that is what the trinity is all about... even God didn’t play solo. When l was single it was, and still is… Amy, and Ahna, and Janel, that person who knows the silent sound of your tears and willingly helps you hoist a chair or a couch over a railing two stories up. Even if it appears crazy or impossible, like the recent adventures with Victoria… the other one. Our person, the one who gives and takes, and partners with us. My built-in partner is Steve.

And then when, or what if, there isn't space to receive? This is about the ships... friendships and relationships. In this season of giving, consider what it looks like to receive, and receive well.

Recently, Steve and I discovered that we have let my diagnosis short-circuit this part of our marriage. As my caretaker, Steve has stepped it up so much so that I felt a bit boxed in, unable to give back. Yes, he is stellar and amazing, and part saint. This dynamic was eye-opening, and I was not giving in. Oh, but isn't this the season of giving? And yes, I wanted to give. I want to be his person. I wanted to clean up after dinner, silly, isn’t it? I want to care for him. I want to participate.

This is muddy, most ...ships are. And so, we came to see each other with a new light. I am stronger than I was even two years ago. Praise God! We are fighting this disease with all we have. For Steve, that means protecting me from myself (literally and figuratively) and for me, it means breaking out of the carefully bubble-wrapped box that ALS and Steve have created. It is about seeing one another’s needs. I want to continue to contribute and help Steve when he has a bad day or just because I can and do—love him.

And I want to participate with you, my friends, and honor you; and also... receive your love. It is the freedom to love wholeheartedly and to give and receive, and to love friends and family well.

Sometimes, I fall short, but I sure want to try.

So yes, retirement has served me well. Time to push my body and time to rest my body. Time to stretch, and ride and play, and time to recover. Time to weep and mourn with friends, time to pray for healing, and time to celebrate: we are seeing a reversal!

With gratitude and love, this season and always, Victoria