It's that what the New Year is all about—reflecting on this past year, looking into the future and seeing who you want to be. For me, I am learning to reflect reality.

So often my mind continues to move at warp speed and my body lags—this is truly what trips me up. Literally and figuratively. I don't even stop to imagine what is doable, I just long to keep doing and going, but both are now exceptionally much slower. Like getting dressed, tying my shoes, getting in and out of the car...these are all things I took for granted. I am no longer my 26-year-old self—this is not just my disease but life—it happens whether I want to admit it or not. Often in my mind, I am in a different space, a different place—and sometimes I am content to be right where I am.

Whatever I see in the mirror, or in the reflection of a pool of water—it is all reverse of what I think and sometimes distorted. Right is left, left is right, up is down and down is up. Like Jesus, last is first.

This year I want to align my head and my heart, my doing and my being, my thoughts and my actions, my timeframe and getting to work on time.

So as I reflect, I long to simplify, to slow down and make time for my slowness—and be okay with what I can do and what I can no longer do. I can no longer pick things up when I drop them—I have to ask for help, for that and much more. Try it, help is a great gift—it perfects humility. And I'll try and accept my reality, I can no longer make plans every night of the week. My body needs rest. And really, I couldn't ever sing or dance, even all your efforts to help didn't help—but that is not the help I mean. The kind that makes you and me realize we were meant for community and not self-sufficiency—this is the gift that transforms hearts and lives, especially mine.

And I also want to be more thoughtful of others and make efforts to reflect the beauty that surrounds me. Seeing your generosity is as beautiful as your friendship.

Thank you for your continued help and encouragement. We are three-quarters of the way to our goal and I am grateful for each and every dollar you have sacrificed to help us remake our wheelchair-friendly home. And so the rehab is underway. Steve and I are doing well among the dust in a make-shift kitchen and our own tiny house project. Thank you, Maggie Mae, for all the jokes—they remind us to laugh, at ourselves and the chaos.

Happy New Year! May 2019 be joyful and triumphant.